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GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

December 18, 1992

The judges favored pianos: men's and women's first prizes went to Ed Bricker, left, for his original arrangement of music from The Phantom of the Opera; and to Diane Hobus, right, for her composition, "La Charmante” (The Charming One). Photos by Brian De Witt

Talent Show was a funny, entertaining, good time

But the event only raised $625 for the Center after expenses

Reviewed by Martha Pontoni

The Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center's annual Talent Show was funny, entertaining, and one of the nicest times this community spends together. Unfortunately, the November 21 event only netted $625 for the Center's programs. But even as the much-needed funds did not materialize the Talent Show accomplished its real purpose: a chance for our community to showcase our brightest talents. It was enough to really make one cry with pride for our much-maligned community.

This year's attendance was slightly over 800 people which was down from last year. Over 140 people joined the Center staff for this year's premiere of "Center Spread," a special party for people who could afford it.

The Talent Show started in 1991 after some controversy about why men are not

allowed at the Women's Variety Show. The Center, being the responsive agency that it is, rose to the occasion and (with the help of Brynna Fish), produced the Talent Show.

After all the prizes went to men in the first Talent Show, (there were separate men's and women's categories this year) I gave my own awards so no one would feel left out. So in keeping with that tradition, here are my 1992 awards. Please, remember that these awards are just for fun and are my own personal sick sense of humor. They are not intended to insult or hurt anyone. And please don't read any more into them than necessary; in other words: lighten up and just enjoy.

The Sound From Hell, or, "Where Is Marion When You Need Her?" Award: (Marion ran sound at the Pride festivals.) Who were these sound people? My guess is

Aubrey Wertheim as "The Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow"

that some straight

men infiltrated the sound board and tried to make everyone sound as awful as possible. And what a good job they did, too!

The "I Paid $50 To Eat With My Fingers?" Award goes to the caterers who did a lovely job confus-

ing people as to whether they were really eating dinner or not. I found it particularly ingenious that they figured out somewhat early that not everyone drinks champagne. Hey, for $50 we could have at least gotten forks!

The "My God, This Man is Such a Whore" Award goes to my friend Aubrey Wertheim, because that is what I thought the minute he appeared as "The Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow." What this man will do to raise some money from and for this community! The pale blue long-johns were cute, the headdress was spectacular and I think he should have raised $625,000 after what he went through.

The "We Love You Anyway" Award goes to our favorite baton twirler, Tim Moore, without whom the annual Pride March would be really boring! Tim tried really hard and it was sort of thrilling waiting to see if the baton would hit one of the judges. At least the baton wasn't flaming--even though Tim was! I loved it, Tim and I hope you do it again next year!

The Girl and Her Guitar Award goes to Lisa Bertok for keeping this time-honored lesbian tradition alive through the 90's

The He's Really Serious Award goes to Denny Lambea for his emotional rendi-

tion of "Unchained Melody." What feeling, what heart, I thought he should have won a prize.

The Poor Taste Award goes to Vince Morvatz and his bizarre sequel to last year's quick-change act. Vince, jokes that make fun of women are not funny. And how come you didn't undress in front of the crowd, it would have been funnier. Thanks to Tim (the baton twirler) who entertained us all while the change was happening.

The Deep Throat Award goes to Chuck Breen, one of the male vocalists in Trilogy What a great bass voice! If I were a gay man, I'd want to meet this guy!

Seriously, everyone was wonderful. It would be interesting to see if next year there were some talents other than vocalists to showcase. Where are the comedians, the body builders, the instrumentalists, the poets, etc., etc., etc. It would be nice to see more and different people involved next year.

I hope the Center is not discouraged and continues to produce this fabulous showcase of our community. If you are one of those people bitching about how bad our community is, I think you should come to the Talent Show and just bask in the glow of the many talented and creative people our community produces.

"Mirlarge," Dwight Fleming, at the piano, and Kris Warren-Stevens, won Men's Runner-Up